Post by estelarana on Jul 17, 2006 19:25:57 GMT -5
Hey everyone! I'm starting to write a story, but I'm still trying to plot it out. I have absolutely NO idea how far I'll be able to go with it, but I could give you a short excerpt of my roughdraft (notice I said roughdraft 
, so please leave constructive criticism if you feel up to it )...
[glow=red,5,300]Many a sword and shield lay shattered that day; many a broken body lay still...A young elf, a healer, ran through her dead brethren, bile rising in her throat and tears flowing unchecked down her face...Over and over, she stopped to heal a dying soldier, speaking the life-giving words as she placed her hands on their chests...Green sparks flowed from her hands, healing the elves' wounds, sapping her energy and leaving the wounded one lethargic...Her breath was labored, and blood seeped from dozens of cuts on her arms and legs, yet she staggered on...
The moans and screams of the dying filled the elf maiden's ears. She faltered and fell to the ground, but shakily stood, knowing that there were those still clinging to life that needed her help. So many dead, why so many? The death around her hit her like a physical blow. She fell again, retching on the putrid earth. Slowly, inch by inch, she dragged herself forward, fingernails clawing in the dark earth...then she saw him. She screamed, a piercing cry of hopelessness and despair, for next to her was a gasping, dying elf...her husband, King Ithaca. Desperately she placed her hands on his chest and spoke the ancient words, but nothing happened. Ithaca raised his hand and gently stroked back the elf maiden's hair. "Ar- Arana," he gasped, "I- I love- you."
"Don't leave me Ithaca, you have a son! Do you hear me? I'm pregnant with your son. Don't go now," Arana whispered, trembling. "I have- a son," Ithaca smiled. Just then, another healer elf stepped through the smoke. "Lorina! Help me!" Arana yelled. Lorina stopped, indecision etched on her features. "Please, don't just stand there! He's dying! Hurry-" Arana's breath caught in her throat.
Lorina held Arana's dagger in her hand. She simply stood there as Ithaca's blood ebbed out. His darkened eyes couldn't see what was happening. "Take care...of my son-" His lifeless hand fell to the ground. Arana's mind moved in slow motion. He's dead. I have no reason to live. As Lorina ran toward her, dagger upraised, Arana lay still, waiting for her spirit's release from her body, when one more thought flashed in her mind. My son! Lorina plunged her dagger into-[/glow]
I must leave you hanging on this thread for a while; I need to get my thoughts straight. Tell me what you think!
, so please leave constructive criticism if you feel up to it )...[glow=red,5,300]Many a sword and shield lay shattered that day; many a broken body lay still...A young elf, a healer, ran through her dead brethren, bile rising in her throat and tears flowing unchecked down her face...Over and over, she stopped to heal a dying soldier, speaking the life-giving words as she placed her hands on their chests...Green sparks flowed from her hands, healing the elves' wounds, sapping her energy and leaving the wounded one lethargic...Her breath was labored, and blood seeped from dozens of cuts on her arms and legs, yet she staggered on...
The moans and screams of the dying filled the elf maiden's ears. She faltered and fell to the ground, but shakily stood, knowing that there were those still clinging to life that needed her help. So many dead, why so many? The death around her hit her like a physical blow. She fell again, retching on the putrid earth. Slowly, inch by inch, she dragged herself forward, fingernails clawing in the dark earth...then she saw him. She screamed, a piercing cry of hopelessness and despair, for next to her was a gasping, dying elf...her husband, King Ithaca. Desperately she placed her hands on his chest and spoke the ancient words, but nothing happened. Ithaca raised his hand and gently stroked back the elf maiden's hair. "Ar- Arana," he gasped, "I- I love- you."
"Don't leave me Ithaca, you have a son! Do you hear me? I'm pregnant with your son. Don't go now," Arana whispered, trembling. "I have- a son," Ithaca smiled. Just then, another healer elf stepped through the smoke. "Lorina! Help me!" Arana yelled. Lorina stopped, indecision etched on her features. "Please, don't just stand there! He's dying! Hurry-" Arana's breath caught in her throat.
Lorina held Arana's dagger in her hand. She simply stood there as Ithaca's blood ebbed out. His darkened eyes couldn't see what was happening. "Take care...of my son-" His lifeless hand fell to the ground. Arana's mind moved in slow motion. He's dead. I have no reason to live. As Lorina ran toward her, dagger upraised, Arana lay still, waiting for her spirit's release from her body, when one more thought flashed in her mind. My son! Lorina plunged her dagger into-[/glow]
I must leave you hanging on this thread for a while; I need to get my thoughts straight. Tell me what you think!
cant wait for more/final draft .